Happy 11 months!

Hi, my not so little one! :) 11 months already! What's the rush?!? :)

Vir, you're definitely showing new traits and telling us that you are getting big! You are like Kabir's tail, going behind him wherever he goes and doing what he does! It's super cute! :)

Screaming continues at the pitch of your voice. Not sure why, but you do it a lot and then Kabir follows and I have to shut my ears! Please, please, please slow down and give your throat and my ears some rest.

You seem to have interest in music and instruments. You sit or stand and play the keys on the piano for a good amount of time.

This is how some weekend mornings look like at home. It's hilarious! :)

It's on my list to sign you up for the music program next year!

You now have 4 teeth! You love to eat and not just your food but also whatever we give you from our plates.

This past month, we had our best friends visit us from London. We met after 7 years but it didn't feel that way at all. That's Meenu massi!

You were the cutest Elmo this halloween! Kabir and you went trick or treating together in the evening and you were so good the entire time, even though it got a little late for you.

Since that evening, you have made attempts to get your hands on the halloween candy! :) Just a couple more years of wait, before you can taste! :)

It was Diwali this past month too and we celebrated by dressing you up in Indian clothes and doing a simple pooja at home. It was your first! :)

We also celebrated Tikka! Kabir of course didn't want Tikka on his forehead but was very interested in the present he was going to get and the one that you were going to get! :)

You can now stand without support but for just a few seconds. You are also walking while pushing. You are doing a lot more of it now and much more confidently.

Your grip is great, today you held my finger, while we sat across from each other and were swinging it! :) You are starting to eat by yourself, when we put little food in front of you.

Since you are doing so well with standing up and crawling and now even walking, I tried to teach  you to climb the steps, but you were not interested. :)

I have to tell you that Kabir gives you the cutest names. One day you are "little diddle" and the other day, you are "ushie tushie" and then something else. Can't wait to see how this is going to flow once you start showing your creative side and invent names for him.

Kabir does enjoy being naughty. Look what I caught him doing. He has not had his hand on the apron since then.

Keep smiling lovie, it sure brightens us up!

Happy Birthday! I love you!

Mama

Memoir

Mama,

Where are you? I miss you. I think about you a lot and I think about my childhood and how close we were. You were always a friend, a confidant…someone, I could share everything with. I miss that someone, I miss you!

I spent all day yesterday going back the memory lane and thinking about the good old days and my last trip to see you, when you were really ill. It was disheartening; very sad to see you in the state you were and then a few days later, getting a call from Sumit at night breaking the news that was so hard to take. I was all flustered. I spent the next day just lying down. I remember it so vividly. I felt so alone. As god would have it, our stuff from VA reached San Francisco, the same day and when the movers opened the boxes, there were jars of pickles that you had made for me. My heart and eyes were so full. I still have the mango pickle saved. It's value to me is more than anyone would ever know.

Losing you was my biggest fear growing up, so your passing away was very hard for me.

I loved you, love you and always will. I am so lucky I had you for my grandma. No one compares to you. I cherish our memories together, the recipes I have from you, some even in your hand-writing, the mango pickle I still have and so much more. Anything that was yours that I now have has so much value to me than anyone would ever know. It's like having you in some form.

I wish, I had recorded your voice, because I miss it, I miss hearing you. :(

Mama, you have taught me to love unconditionally, you were always a source of strength to me and showed me to always do the right thing. Thank you, for all of that. Thank you.

I love you and always will. I miss resting my head in your lap and just giving you a kiss and a hug passing by where you sat or when you were in the kitchen cooking. I remember, how much you liked it. I miss having a shoulder to cry on. I miss having someone to share things with, who would understand me. I miss that and I miss you.

I hope you are looking over me and I hope you know how much I miss you. I also hope you are peaceful and happy.

I love you, Mama. With fond memories and ever-lasting love,

Gudiya.